Give genuine gifts

The back page of MAD magazine portrayed Great Moments in Medicine – the presenting of the bill. The magazine depicted the horror of that situation in the faces of the relatives of the “recovering” person. Sometimes this might reflect the horror or pain in some of the things we give to people.

Christmas and birthdays are traditional times for giving gifts. Mostly, when we give a gift, we have a real interest in the response or attitude of the recipient. We like to observe surprise, delight or appreciation. It helps us feel the presenting of the gift was worthwhile. But what if we get little by way of response? Indeed, what if the response we are given is emotionless or negative?

Imagine you want to give a very special gift to someone important to you. You take a good deal of time, shopping carefully to make the best selection. When you have finally made the selection, you purchase costly wrapping paper and ribbon, and go to much trouble to wrap the gift so it appears just the perfect present.

Then, you make a special trip to the card shop and search thoroughly until you find a card that contains the perfect message you want this person to gain from the occasion. You then take the time to write your own message inside, attach it to the perfectly wrapped gift and, with pride, deliver it to the special person in your life. You hand it over, but the person simply says: “Thanks,” and places the gift on the mantelpiece.

When you call again a week later, you cannot help but notice the gift still sitting on the mantelpiece. The card and gift are both unopened. There can be no doubt you would feel disappointed, hurt, and given the obvious message that the gift was unwanted and not valued.

All of us can easily fall into the same trap when partners or friends give us the important gift of their confidence, trust, love or affection. There are times at home when I am told: “You didn’t even listen to what I was telling you.”

I am also reminded of times when I seemed to listen to the gift of sensitive information someone was sharing with me, only to give it my priority, and leave it sitting on some “mantelpiece” untouched. Many of us, of course, don’t do that intentionally, but it is sometimes the result of “overload”, tiredness or distraction. There can be no excuses if we want to retain credibility as a gift-giver, and one who is genuinely interested and cares.

Christmas can be either a wonderful or disastrous time for relationships. It might depend on how we as individuals demonstrate our ability to be sensitive or care. Perhaps the greatest gift we can give anyone is our full attention and to handle their gifts to us with sensitivity and care. This may help them have true confidence and trust in us that will enrich our love or friendship. As we put words into action, we tear away the wrappings and ribbons that hide and distract.

None of us would share sensitive information about ourselves with anyone we didn’t completely trust. Jesus pointed out the true us is what goes on inside.

Let us give genuine gifts this Christmas and let us receive the gifts others give us with meaningful love, sensitivity and care.

SA Police Chaplains