Excuses
We all make them, of course. As children, we learn how to make them
with good effect. We learn a good excuse will go far, either to get
us out of or minimize trouble. A good excuse may help us get what
we want.
Excuses are mostly about deception. The credible lie. A cover-up.
A deflection. Sometimes it isn’t just a straight lie, but takes part
of the truth and wobbles it about a bit.
Most coppers I have dealt with over the last 25 years always knew
when some member of the public was spinning them a line, or dragging
the truth. Sometimes they were just as quick to pick their own kids’
excuses. There were times when this acquired professional acumen brought
the cop into trouble at home, before mum quickly spoke up in defence
of the errant child: “You don’t have to be a copper here, you know.
You’re at home, and part of this family.”
My wife tells me I’m pretty good at coming up with the latest and
the best. She suggests I lie awake at night thinking up good excuses.
She tells our friends: “It took David 14 years to mend a broken laundry
window once.” I really don’t know how I won for so long. I must admit,
I haven’t done nearly so well since.
We were in Gus’s shed the other Saturday, relaxing and watching the
footy. Gus had earned himself a speeding fine. He must have come pretty
close to being let off with a caution. “But,” he ranted, “the copper
came up with a ‘cock-and-bullish’ excuse to book me. It was a straight-out
lie. It was like he took me as being some kind of idiot.”
Just then his mobile rang. It was an irate customer who had expected
him to turn up and finish a pressing plumbing job. It seems they were
unable to run the shower for three days. By now, they were all pretty
fired up. I overheard Gus spin the typical “busy-tradesman” yarn and
promise to be there first thing Monday, without fail. I couldn’t help
but ask if his story was cock and bull. Gus glared. I reminded him
of the story Jesus told in Luke 14, in which the excuses given were
obvious lies. The outcome was that the excuse-makers were ultimately
those who missed out as they were deceiving themselves rather than
anyone else.
Of course, the best excuses and rationalizations we make are to,
or for, ourselves. We can actually come to believe or live the deception
we create. Once seemingly convinced, it isn’t too difficult to convince
others who don’t have the same investment we have in the story.
Given all that, I still make the odd excuse. Most of them, however,
don’t pass too well at home. I guess my wife thinks she’s heard them
all before. To be up-front and honest is at times difficult, but,
in the end, far more satisfying.
Watching the footy can be thirsty work. As we lolled about, Gus’s
wife, Floss, came into the shed. She was bent on making a statement
about something, but halfway through the first sentence she stopped,
shook her head, tutted, and walked out.
Is giving in an excuse at your place?
