April 2002 Volume 83 Number 4
"serving the protectors"
| April 2002 Volume 83 Number 4 "serving the protectors" |
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ChaplaincyTo say goodbye |
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| By David Marr |
One of my long-standing friends returned from a holiday interstate with his wife, only to find himself admitted to hospital. His wife, Rene, phoned to let me know, so I went to St Andrews to pay him a visit. Jack laughed as I entered the room, and soon told me he felt a good deal better than he did when he was admitted.
He had just returned from the local shop for some milk and bread and, after stepping out the car, suffered some kind of dizzy spell that left him sitting on the carpet just inside the front door. The doctor admitted him for tests.
When I saw him on the day following the test results, he was most forlorn. The specialist explained that he had found an aggressive-type tumour in an inoperable area of Jack’s brain. He gave him a life expectancy of only about six weeks.
I was shocked. Jack was only 50-odd. It wasn’t fair. There was Rene, their son, Dean, and a new grandson, James.
“How are you feeling?” I asked Jack. “Not good,” Jack replied gravely, “I know I’m on the way out. I hardly know what to say to Rene, and I just haven’t seen Dean. He’s never been good around hospitals, you know. He’s big and he’s tough, but that’s only on the outside. You know what he’s like.”
When I dropped in to see Rene, she couldn’t speak. After a lot of tears, she told me she was really worried about Dean. “When I told him about Jack,” said Rene, “he just walked away, and he won’t go near dad or the hospital. Jack is asking after him all the time. They were such good mates.”
I promised Rene I would try to have a word with him.
I dropped around after dinner that evening. I found Dean doing a spot of welding and, with a heavy hammer, bashing the steel frame he was making. I could see he was finding it hard to put things down. He kept going, but using lighter tools and a wire brush.
“This is the order Jack and me are working on,” said Dean. “It’s meant to be finished by the weekend. Now Jack’s in hospital, I’ve gotta keep going to finish it.”
“He wants to see you, Dean,” I said quietly. Dean shook his head.
“I know,” he replied, as he kept brushing with his head down.
“I think he wants to say goodbye to you, Dean.” Dean nodded, was quiet for a few moments, and then picked up his welding rod.
“Sorry David,” he said, “I’ve gotta get this done.”
“I’ll catch you later, Dean,” I said, and wandered out of the shed. He took a last look as I left, nodded his head and half waved the welding rod in his hand.
I visited Jack every morning on the way to work. We chatted about things he and his family had appreciated and times we had shared together. One day he asked: “How’s Dean? I can’t make out why he hasn’t come in.”
With difficulty, I replied: “He can’t, Jack. He can’t come because he cares, and you’re his mate.”
“Poor bugger,” said Jack, “he can’t say goodbye. When the right time comes, tell him I understand. Tell him I don’t hold it against him; that I’m proud of him and love him.”
“What about you?” asked Jack. “Are you going to say goodbye?”
SA Police Chaplains
Welfare Section 58 David Marr 8364 3567 Senior Police Chaplain. Academy 8 Brenton Daulby 8272 8324 Adelaide: 158 Vacant Adelaide Hills Division 54 Adrian Stephens 8398 2510 Office: 8398 2517 Ceduna 214 Sybil Peacock 8625 3505 Christies Beach 20 Peter Coote 8381 3039 0412 818 995 Clare 202 Michael Dutschke 8842 3681 Communications 172 David Hand 8376 5612 Elizabeth 52 Lindsay Mayes 8281 8088 Far North 210 John Folkman 8672 5011 Firearms/Records Dianna Bartlett 8337 8552 Gawler 52 Brian Tscharke 8522 2288 Glenelg 22 Malcolm Thomas 8377 0772 Henley Beach 18 Tim Kowald 8449 6868 Holden Hill 44 Rod Dyson 8365 1170 Kadina 71 Vacant Kingston 208 Mount Gambier 208 Brian Ashworth (w) 8723 1353 (h) 8725 2537 Murray Bridge 200 Malcolm Bottrill 8532 5536 Naracoorte 208 Bruce Cliff 8737 2457 0417 811 702 Norwood 60 Lynton Wade 8362 2227 0418 831 703 Nuriootpa 204 Andy Kowald 8562 1011 Port Adelaide 6 Jeff Oake 8341 5930 Port Pirie 206 Steve Ardill 8632 3977 Prosecution Services 176 Vacant Port Augusta PS 210 Mark Thomas 8642 2487 0401 671 850 Port Lincoln 214 Vacant Riverland 212 Robin Zadow 8588 1540 Salisbury 53 Vacant South East Terry Natt 8571 1114 Sturt 12 Chris Beal 8278 9578 Ian Dempsey 8296 7292 Tea Tree Gully 48 Bob George 8395 9363 Thebarton Barracks 32 Vacant Transit Division Rob Packer 8332 9155 Victor Harbor Graham Rogerson (h) 8552 1718 (w) 8552 5029 Whyalla 218 Tony Redden 8649 3593
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