March 2000 Volume 81 Number 3 "serving the protectors"

Breath of Fresh Air

Dear Andy

I commend the Police Journal for including the restaurant review in the last few publications. What a breath of fresh air these articles are to this quality journal, which again highlights the relevance to its readership. I have heard other members raving about Jason’s contribution. I enjoy the writing style and have since paid a visit to one of the restaurants that was favourably reviewed. The article was right on the money but I fail to express my gastro delights with the same finesse as Jason.

The question begs though - who is this man? In reading his articles one can only conjure up images of one Sir Les Paterson in full disarray crudely eating all and sundry on the menu. Indeed, the insertion of a photograph of the writer might tone down my sometimes wild imagination.

On a slightly different note, I noticed that my membership for the Presidential Card has lapsed. Is the Police Association planning to continue with the Presidential membership and if so when can I expect my replacement card?

Regards
Danny O’Mahony
Crime Reduction Section

So as to guarantee the integrity of Jason’s reviews his picture does not appear on the dining pages.

As previously reported in the Police Journal (January 2000), the Presidential Card has been discontinued in accordance with directions of the 1999 annual delegates’ conference. The Police Association is investigating alternatives to the now defunct card.

Andy Dunn
Editor

Infected by Officialese

Dear Sir

I write in praise of the letter from Malcolm Brown published in the February issue of the Police Journal, containing, as it does, an intelligent and wittily written plea for the use of plain English in writing. Like Brown (who readily admits to past offences), I have been guilty of writing in a style similar to that used by Mark “Fred” Trueman, the author of the letter which Brown lampooned and which was published in the January edition.

Trueman’s sin was to fall into the trap of using to excess “buzz” words and jargon when expressing thoughts in writing. The result, as Brown wrote, was that the purpose of Trueman’s letter (the communication of ideas and opinions to readers) was all but defeated. On that point, it is significant that Brown’s letter was directed, not at the substance of what Trueman had to say, but the way in which it was said. The style detracted from the substance.

While stones have been cast at Fred Trueman, there are not many of us who have served as members of the force who have not used, at some stage, a similar style. I suspect that this is because, from the very beginning of recruit training, many of us became infected by “officialese” when preparing mock briefs and police reports, using as a model briefs and reports which were riddled with ponderous, pompous and wordy language.

The subject of writing in plain English is not new. George Orwell, author of Animal Farm and Nineteen Eighty Four was a passionate supporter of the use of plain English. In an essay entitled Politics and the English Language (written about 1946) Orwell attacked pretentious and jargon-riddled diction. To illustrate a point he quoted a passage from the book of Ecclesiastes:

I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happens to them all.

And then re-wrote the passage in the “modern” English he despised:

Objective considerations of contemporary phenomena compels the conclusion that success or failure in competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable element of the unpredictable must invariably be taken into account.

Orwell stated that while his re-writing of the passage was a parody, it was not a very gross one. It is true, I think, that similar examples can be readily found in the writings of those in the media, the public service, the private sector, the professions and the universities.

Orwell compiled a set of rules to assist in writing clear English. I won’t reproduce them all here, but there are two by which I try (sometimes unsuccessfully) to abide:

• Never use a long word where a short one will do.
• Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word or a jargon word if you can think of an every-day English equivalent.

Yours faithfully
Michael Grant
(SAPOL 1965-1988)

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