February 2000 Volume 81 Number 2 "serving the protectors"

Police Credit Union Access

In the December issue of the Police Journal, Brian Allen brought to members’ attention some of his concerns relating to the withdrawal of Police Credit Union from the wider Credit Union Network of branches.

We would like to assure Brian and other members with similar concerns, that the decision to withdraw from the network was outside of Police Credit Union’s control. Approximately a year ago a number of SA credit unions resolved to migrate to an independent computer system, which progressively results in the closure of the Credit Union Network. Unfortunately, even in this computerized age not all systems are compatible.

As Police Credit Union is not in a position to duplicate all of these agencies, we were forced to look for alternatives. Australia Post is widely recognized and trusted and their giroPost system is available Australia wide. After much consideration, it was chosen as the best option.

As Australia Post charges Police Credit Union for every transaction made, we have very little alternative but to recover some of these costs. Hence, a fee of $2.50 applies in the case of member withdrawals. PCU is absorbing the cost associated with member deposits - hence no fee is charged.

Using an ATM is the most convenient way of accessing cash. If members feel unsure about the security of withdrawing cash this way, there is the option of purchasing goods via EFTPOS and requesting a cash advance to cover other household expenses. For example, when you do your weekly shopping take extra cash out at the same time; ATM and EFTPOS transactions form part of the 12 free transactions available to members each month.

When no cash is required, members with a Visa card should choose the “credit” option when purchasing goods or services. These transactions are free. Other free access facilities are available such as bill-pay over-the-phone using Bpay, or low cost options such as a cheque book.

Having been part of the Network system since its inception, it was particularly sad to withdraw from it but, unfortunately, this decision was forced on us. However, we believe that the addition of giroPost and the other access options we provide will prove to be a successful alternative.

Our staff will be very happy to assist any of our members who would like more information on accessing their accounts free of fees, or on using the range of outlets now available.

Geoff Doyle
Chief Executive Officer
Police Credit Union

Trying To Impress Or Inform?

Dear Sir

For some time now I have been confused about the amount of pretentious language and clichés creeping into police reports, letters and policies. This sort of language does nothing to enhance or bolster written documents; rather it serves to complicate, unnecessarily, language aimed at the readers it seeks to inform.

I’m sad to say that the letter by MG Trueman (Victims of Management?, Police Journal, January 2000) in response to the letter by Bob O’Brien (Problems in Policing, Police Journal, November 1999) must now draw a barb from my cruel pen.

I, along with my colleagues, found this letter very difficult to interpret. Eventually, after many readings, I grasped the underlying concept and it made sense - sort of. I wonder, however, if all the padding was removed, would it have made the letter far more readable? I think it would.

This writing style, now trendy within SAPOL, is typical of the current state of “wah wah” and worn-out clichés getting a literary flogging in business and government reports, letters, memos and policies. I speak of words such as: key stakeholders; best practice; touch base; empower; benchmark; proactive; strategic fit; fast track; axiomatic, etc, etc.

When one analyzes these words, far more accurate definitions spring to mind:

• Stakeholder: an assistant market gardener (specif.) one who tenders trailing fruits such as cucumbers and tomatoes by placing perpendicular restraining devices into the ground whilst another hammers the aforementioned device in.
• Key stakeholder: leading hand assistant market gardener - as above.
• Best practice: a really, really good sport training session.
• Touch base: something baseballers try to do after hitting the ball.
• Empower: using Einstein’s theory of relativity to generate drive/force (can cause frizzy hair).
• Disempower: pulling the plug on above.
• Benchmarks: Sign of a sloppy carpenter.
• Proactive: A busy prostitute.
• Strategic Fit: Closely aligned (unlikely to occur in conjunction with Proactive).
• Fast track: Melbourne GP in March (archaic - Adelaide in November).
• Axiomatic: Automated mechanical wood chopping device; of the type that Tim Shaw would try to sell along with a free set of steak knives.
• Take on board: Ships captain authorizing receipt of cargo prior to a journey.
• Play the ball: 1. Direction from coach 2. A good idea if you do not want to be sent off.
• In the loop: Halfway through a nauseating ride on a twisting roller-coaster.

The most disturbing point about some of these words is a tendency to increase the waffle effect, eg “best practice” has been seen in some nondescript offerings as “world’s best practice”. What next? Solar system’s best practice; Milky Way’s best practice. The mind boggles! One should ask: “Are these words used to impress the reader or to inform?” The latter being surely why any letter, report, etc is written in the first place.

The mark of a good communicator must be an ability to ensure the reader or listener to whom a letter, report or speech is directed, clearly understands the topic. In fact a plain English campaign has been in existence in the UK for over 20 years seeking this very end. This campaign seeks to reduce the amount of waffle currently infecting the English language. It has been very successful in this regard even drawing praise from the British PM. (For information refer: www.plainenglish.co.uk)

These buzzwords, invariably coined by some fussy academic/management “guru” somewhere, spread like a mutating virus and are infecting the English language at an alarming rate. By the time these terms corrupt SAPOL literature they have been done to death and serve only to complicate and annoy - me in particular.

I will admit being guilty of the above myself when in grovel mode but I have now seen the light. As a convert to plain English, I will endeavour to ensure that reports, letters etc written by me are concise, without “wah wah” and aimed at an appropriate level. I would like to think that others will also follow this road to clarity to ensure that plain English is the language of choice when writing and speaking to others. Of course, now I’ll have to be on my guard.

Or, as Albert Bensimon would say: “No Hoo Hah” (actually I hate that as well - but if the shoe fits).

Regards
Malcolm Brown
SAPOL

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